A Bit of Fun

13 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by in Daily Humour

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Ladies! Do you despair of ever finding a comfortable bra that does its job properly? A bra that lifts, and has comfortable straps, and doesn’t form armrests under one’s armpits. A bra that bestows a bit of cleavage – well, when you’ve not much else to show off, a nice pair of uplifted pointy boobs would do wonders for sagging self-esteem, now, wouldn’t it. 

Today’s fashions are very odd indeed, don’t you think? Starting at the top, the female head of hair looks as if hours went into the washing and styling, then it was pushed backwards through a hedge. Men seem to favour the ‘hedgehog’ look like that sports-casting fellow on CNN.
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Surrender your Credit Cards NOW

12 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by in Articles & Reports

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On 5 January 2012 Reserve Bank of Fiji confirmed the implementation of the Credit Card Levy (CCL) as announced in the 2012 Budget. The Credit Card Levy will be implemented with effect from 1 January 2012 by all commercial banks issuing credit cards.

Key features of the Credit Card Levy
• A charge to customers at the rate of 2 percent on the outstanding balance at the end of each month (commencing January 2012).
• The imposition of the CCL is based on the month end balance (i.e. debt), irrespective of the statement date or due date for payment of the balance. Hence you have to pay an extra 2% on all your purchases.
• The month end balance is inclusive of any interest and other bank charges. So you pay an additional 2% on all bank charges.

NOTE: This only applies to credit cards issued by Fiji Banks so the Government is deliberately penalising Fiji Citizens.

Save this expense by giving up your Credit Cards and take out a Debit Card, or pay cash.

The Muppets who dreamed up this levy clearly do not appreciate it will increase the use of cash, which will increase the sale of Brown Paper Bags, which in turn will result in Black Money Cash on which taxes will be avoided, end result… We all lose… Corruption is not Dead…….. Neither is Bureaucratic Stupidity and Greed 

Talei

08 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by in Letters

≈ 2 Comments

No doubt about it – tiny minds make tiny lives – and the evidence is there for all to see in recent letters to our newspapers. Sukha Singh and Rajeev Sharma thoroughly deserve the roasting dished out by Tai Smith of Nasinu (FT 7/1).

It is difficult to even try to understand the motivation behind the thinking of the likes of Sharma and Singh. Such meanness of spirit, paucity of generosity, lack of tolerance. Have you two never had a dream? Have you never ever wanted to do something simply for the fun of it? To do something to lift your spirits with joy?

We have no idea how Talei Burness managed to pay for her sky-dive and we have no right whatsoever to criticise her right or means to do so. For all we know she may have been stashing away $1 a week for years! Other people spend many times that in a week on grog or lottery tickets or any number of other fruitless pastimes.

Here we have a lady (a true lady, this writer can vouch for that) who on her 70th birthday fulfilled a dream: at the same time doing every pensioner world wide an enormous favour. She showed the rest of us what we are made of. She showed us what we can do if we put our minds to it.

Talei Burness jumped out of a plane at 4,000ft and in free-fall yelled ‘One for the pensioners!’ showing us all that, wrinkles, cellulite, grey hair and creaking bones do not mean that we are over the hill, finished, ex, no more, done for, irrelevant and useless.

Talei Burness is a 70 year old lady with guts and grit. Shame on you Singh and Sharma. Jealous, are you? Envious? Please just take your tiny minds and crawl back into the holes where you belong.

WANTED URGENT, a Dressmakers Dummy

07 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by in Grey Power Editor

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Calling all silver surfers and pensioners! We have a little old lady who needs to find a Dressmaker’s Dummy as soon as possible. She plans to sew into a vast old age to eke out her meagre pension. In this way she plans to thwart the FNPF muppets. 

It doesn’t have to be a new dummy, but it must be adjustable because ladies come in adjustable sizes. Our little old lady would like it to be in fairly good condition, and she is willing to pay a fair price for it. (Blow up dolls excepted). 

Since our little old lady is still able to see, speak, and hear, even though her use-by date expired long ago, she is still able to drive and will be more than happy to collect her purchase. 

Fijipensioners.com confirms that this is a genuine request – please see her advertisement in the ‘wanted to buy’ column in the Fiji Times 07/1.

FTHF Dave is Back ! or is He ?

07 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by in Articles & Reports

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“Air Pacific will increase its flights to Sydney by flying 13 times everyday in a week except on Monday.”                          

Managing Director and CEO, Dave Pflieger said that the increase in flights will come into effect on January 15th. ( As published by Fiji Village )

Thirteen times everyday Dave, what have you been smoking in the USA?, almost every flight during the holiday period has suffered extensive delays and that is on one flight a day.

We think you should give the Fiji Pensioners back their $200,000,000.

Thank You for the Informative Emails

07 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by in Daily Humour, Grey Power Editor

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I just want to thank all of you for your
educational e-mails over the past year.
                             I am totally screwed up now and have little
chance of recovery.

                             I no longer open a public toilet door
without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water
without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

                             I can’t use the remote in a hotel room
because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through
the adult movie channels.

                             I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread
because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last
washed.

                             I have trouble shaking hands  with someone
who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is
picking ones nose (although mobile phone usage may be taking the number

Urgently Required ~ Truth & Justice

03 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in Letters

≈ 1 Comment

IN a long article (FT 17/12), Shauna Tomkins and Geoff Rashbrook, consultants to the Fiji National Provident Fund, say that statements continue to be made about the FNPF reforms that are simply untrue.

The duo went on to make many claims.

One of these denies that the FNPF has contracts with existing pensioners.

Ms Tomkins may have forgotten that she is a party to a report to the FNPF which acknowledged that contracts are in place.

In fact she recommended that the FNPF should allocate funds to meet the payments promised under the existing contracts.

Many of the pensioners now facing a major reduction in their income argued strongly that the FNPF is breaking their contract.

Clearly this is a matter for the courts to decide except that pensioners have been denied their fundamental right to seek legal redress. This is an act of discrimination against them.

Ms Tomkins should explain why she has associated herself with such an injustice.

The article has a crucial disclaimer. It indicates that the comments by Ms Tomkins and Mr Rashbrook are opinions not intended as legal or financial advice.

PRATAP SINGH
ERONI VULI
Suva

No Notification of delays, no apologies and no vouchers…

02 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by in Grey Power Editor

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Missing in Lack of Action

No Notification of delays, no apologies and no vouchers. FTHF Dave has done it again, after the Sydney Nadi flight suffered delays, the flight departure of the Air Pacific flight to LA Sunday night was delayed by nearly 3 hours, but passengers were not notified and as a result they checked in on time and had to spend long boring hours in the departure lounge while Fast Talking High Flying Dave was still parading in front of his mirror in the Kings New Clothes, with no worries about his passengers missing their connecting flights from LAX.

Look out FTHF Dave, the PER is being lifted from the 7th January and the press might, just might, find the balls to tell the truth about how successful your management decisions and techniques are proving to be.
If FTHF Dave is not held to account, who is ??????????, the Air Pacific board who appointed him ?? 

Qori !!!

02 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by in Grey Power Editor, Letters

≈ 1 Comment

The Fiji Times, Sunday January 1st 2012 page 21. Sitiveni Ligamamada Rabuka apologises to the peoples of Fiji in a large paid advertisement. 

Without a doubt that would have got a lot of people talking once they’d recovered from their midnight revelling. 

As the man says, it is not new, he’s done it before. But this time it is…a formal and more comprehensive public statement…that Sitiveni hopes will make history…for all time. 

As if the man hasn’t already made history! 2 coups, charging into parliament, shut-down-Sundays, curfews, and a much publicised extramarital affaire should be history-making enough, one might think. 

So what is this all about? Pssst! most likely more history-making! The clue lies in the ultimate paragraph…My road to redemption is difficult and not yet complete…

So is he planning a carefully orchestrated comeback? Is he aiming at a return to politics? Does he have his eye on a cosy seat in the house?

Is Sitiveni planning to complete his redemption by way of an about-face and the virtual undoing of his tragedy of 1987?

What better way than to set in motion a ‘mea culpa’ campaign’, secure a swathe of votes, gain a seat, and then tell the world he is not only forgiven, but wanted, needed and even loved?

Well, give it a go, Siti! And seeing as you lost your pension, maybe, when you have gained the right to earn another for yourself, you might, perhaps, remember the rest of us who are losing theirs. Of course, we didn’t lose out ‘your way’ – we worked for ours, but…

Sega na leqa!