A 25-year-old Jewish American Princess tells her mom that she has missed her period for the second month.  Her mother goes a drug store in downtown Miami to purchase a Pregnancy Test Kit. The results prove the girl is pregnant.

Shaking her hands in the air and screaming, her mother demands, “Who did this? Is he one of the neighbours?”

Without answering, the girl picks up her cell phone. Within a few minutes, a new Mercedes stops in front of their house.

An older, distinguished looking man wearing a Yarmulke rings the doorbell.  The maid lets him in and he sits down with the parents and says, “Your daughter has informed me of her condition.  I can’t marry because I am married, but I take full responsibility. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter and the child.  They shall live in a new house of their own on the beach and want for nothing.”

“Additionally, if it is a girl, I will write a new Will and bequeath two retail
furniture stores in New York City, an Office Building and a Deli in downtown Miami, plus a $2 million dollar trust fund.”

“If it is a boy, I will re-write my Will and leave two jewelry stores
in San Francisco, two apartment buildings in downtown Manhattan, an Office Building in downtown Seattle, two grocery stores downtown Portland, A Penthouse Condo in The Keys, and a $25 million dollar trust fund.”

“But if there is a miscarriage, I don’t know what to do.”

There was a moment of silence and then the girls mother placed
her hand gently on the elderly man’s shoulder.
“So, you’ll try again.”     :o)

Smile 1
An elderly lady in a nursing home had a habit of lifting the front of her nightgown and saying, “Super sex.”   She walked up to an elderly gentleman who was wearing a hearing aid.  She lifted the front of her nightgown and said, “Super sex.”  The elderly chap thought for a moment and then said, “I think I’ll have the soup.” 

Smile 2
A couple arranged for an elderly aunt to move into a retirement home.  The staff welcomed her on her arrival and sat her on a large comfortable settee in a communal lounge.  After a while the old lady began slowly to lean to one side.   Almost immediately a nurse rushed up an put a large cushion by her side.  Gradually the old lady began to lean to the other side.  Almost immediately a nurse rushed up and propped the old lady up with another large cushion by her other side.  In the evening the young couple visited the old lady and asked her anxiously how she was settling in.  “It’s fine,” she said, “but they won’t let you fart.”

 It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

How To  Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
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A US recession is a extremely serious matter and will have far reaching effects around the globe including Fiji, where future short to mid term investment and tourism could be detrimentally affected causing hardship to a great many people.

But there is a more humorous side of this from the USA !!!
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