Posted by fijipensioners | Filed under Daily Humour
Smile
20 Saturday Oct 2012
20 Saturday Oct 2012
09 Tuesday Oct 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
He sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Margaret looked him over. “Nope.”
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen
completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little
louder this time, “Notice anything different
NOW?”
Margaret looked up and said in
her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s
different? It’s hanging down today,
it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll
be hanging down again tomorrow.”
Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO
YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING
DOWN, MARGARET?”
“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.
“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE
IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!”
Margaret replied, “Should have
bought a hat, Bert.
Should have bought a hat.”
04 Thursday Oct 2012
02 Tuesday Oct 2012
Posted in Articles & Reports, Daily Humour
Firefighters were called out to rescue a man whose head was stuck in a public litter bin in Aberdeen Scotland.
It is not yet known how the man got into the predicament, which happened on the city’s Justice Street.
Emergency services were alerted to the man stuck with his head in the opening of the 4ft-high bin early on Sunday evening.
A spokesman for Grampian Fire and Rescue Service said the man was not injured.
He was taken to hospital for a check-up.
30 Sunday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives..
Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished – I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss..
An telum,u blody luvum.!! Xxx
29 Saturday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour, Health Hints
LUST is good for you, not just because it gets you laid, but because it boosts your brain, according to University of Melbourne experimental psychologist Simon Laham.
”Because lust is there to essentially lead us to pursue people into bed, which is a very current goal, it tends to focus our minds on the present and on detail,” he says. ”People in a lustful state are more detailed [in their thinking], focused on the trees rather than the forest”, which leads to ”decomposition of a problem into smaller pieces”, he says.
Even a relatively tepid form of lust, induced by nude pictures or certain words, causes people in experiments to perform better on analytic reasoning problems that involve working through details step by step, he says.
His book, The Joy of Sin, musters evidence from psychology experiments by researchers worldwide to argue that the seven deadly sins (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride) are not necessarily bad.
”Under certain circumstances these things can bring about a range of benefits, including making one happier, smarter, more creative and increasing pro-social behaviour,” he says.
People feeling proud of themselves will stick at a task longer and achieve greater success. People with time to spare are more sensitive to the needs of others and more likely to help.
Dr Laham said he did not feel the need to amplify the point that the seven deadly sins can be bad for you, too. Most people already have a sense of that, he believes.
Research also shows, for example, that high lust levels can trigger risk-taking sexual behaviour and sexual aggression.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/brain-power-its-the-lust-thing-on-our-minds-20120921-26cfa.html#ixzz27n4EPp2c
28 Friday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
28 Friday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
27 Thursday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
23 Sunday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily Humour