Monthly Archives: November 2012

Public Service Employment

18 Sunday Nov 2012

Posted by in Daily Humour

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A guy goes to the Public Service Commission to apply for a job. 

The interviewer asks him, 
“Are you allergic to anything?” 

He replies, 
“Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.” 

“Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?” 

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for one tour.” 

The interviewer says,
“That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” 

Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” 

The guy says,  “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.” 

The interviewer grimaces and then says,
“Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.” 

The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?” 

“This is a government job”, the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. 

No point in you coming in for that.

The Gujarati Lady

18 Sunday Nov 2012

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A gujarati lady visited a bar for the first time,
she sat on the chair in front of the bartender;
A guy at her left ordered, “Jack Daniels, Single”
A guy at her right ordered, “Johnny Walker, Single “
The bartender looked at the lady, said ,”and you?”
Lady replied,” Pushpa Patel, Married”

Message from the PM, or is it the AG

15 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by in Daily Humour

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Dear People

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the
economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Attorney General deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government..

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local government Minister. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. ****

Eating late at night ‘makes you fat’

13 Tuesday Nov 2012

Posted by in Health Hints

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It is not just what people eat but when that leads to weight gain, evidence suggests.

Mice with a malfunctioning body clock piled on the pounds because they were eating when they should have been asleep, a study suggested.

Even if they consumed no more calories than normal, they still gained more weight.

The findings shed light on the complex causes of obesity in humans, said the researchers from the University of Pennsylvania.

They said the effect in mice was similar to night-eating syndrome in humans, which is associated with obesity.

The results could explain why night shift workers are more likely to suffer obesity and metabolic syndrome, a combination of diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity.

Patients with sleep disorders are also at greater risk of developing obesity, while less sleep can lead to weight gain in healthy people.

Georgios Paschos, a research associate involved in the study, said: “A relatively modest shift in food consumption into what is normally the rest period for mice can favour energy storage. Our mice became obese without consuming more calories.”

An Orchestrated Litany of Lies

09 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by in Articles & Reports

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DEVELOPERS of the country’s first casino revealed that construction would begin once financial issues were sorted out.

One Hundred Sands director customer experience Greg Schillinger said financing the project had proven to be a mammoth task but negotiations were progressing.

“We’re in the midst of getting our financing organised and construction should begin within 30 days,” he said.

“People need to understand that there are some very complicated processes involved and that this is a complicated financial deal and there’s many more hoops to jump through than anticipated.

“We are hopeful that construction will begin soon but cannot give a definite date as when exactly that will happen.”

Tourism permanent secretary Elizabeth Powell said the ministry was aware that financing issues were holding back the start of construction.

“We are aware that they (One Hundred Sands) are sorting things out and look forward to the start of our first ever casino which is exciting for Fiji and will add another dimension to our tourism market,” she said.

Ms Powell said while the Tourism Ministry was optimistic that all would go well, they would be looking at further discussions with the developers should financing the operation continued to be an issue.

One Hundred Sands was granted a gaming licence in December last year and construction of the $290million project on Denarau, Nadi, was scheduled to begin after the groundbreaking ceremony in April this year.

SIX months ago it was published in the national media, that this company had its finance in place and various tests on the property were taking place. An obvious lie.

Well anyone can drive past the property and see that the only tests or work carried out is the dumping of a few truckloads of soil and rubble.

What a crock of shit. Prime Minister Frank has been sucked in again. In the name of all thats Holy Prime Minister Frank, please change your advisers, and do not give this company access to FNPF funds.

Give it some thought Frank, just a few minutes thinking and you will be able to work out that if the commercial banks ( who are flush with funds at the moment ) are not prepared to risk their money, in this project with this developer; you would have to be criminally insane to put more pensioners funds at risk.

If you really want to invest FNPF money in a Casino, lend it to James Packer Frank !!

Ghai not being Honest ??

07 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by in Articles & Reports

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The following article published overseas was sent to us by a Fijipensioners.com supporter in Africa.

This article highlights the probably underrated achievements of Professor Yash Ghai and no doubt the good professor has many constitutions under his belt, as the article points out.

However one paragraph needs correction.

On page 3 at paragraph 4 Professor Ghai is quoted as saying in reference to 2000 events in Fiji:  ‘The government, which won the elections was also overthrown, with some assistance from the army, and I assisted in the litigation which challenged the coup. We won, about the only time a sitting government has been replaced through a court decision’

However, Fijipensioners was informed by the lawyer who instigated and saw through the Chandrka Prasad case to the end, including by recruiting lawyers George Williams, Geoffrey Robertson and Grant Illingworth for various stages of  the court case, that Professor Ghai was not involved in the litigation at all.

Read the full article with Ghai’s false claim by clicking the following link:

Diabolical Decrees

07 Wednesday Nov 2012

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COONEY RADIO AUSTRALIA: Does this concern you and the whole process towards elections in 2014? 

GHAI ANSWERED : Well it does because another position they have removed is our examination of existing laws for possible incompatibility with the draft constitution. 

And there are hundreds of decrees past since the coup which have stripped the rights of access to courts, media is under pressure subject to heavy penalties, trade union rights have basically been removed, civil servants have no protection. 

And it seemed to us that a lot of these decrees needed to be amended and in some cases repealed. 

“Now that power has been taken away from us, and I do not see how Fiji is going to have a free and fair election unless these decrees are cleaned up. So that power has been taken away and it’s extremely worrying. 
  
“This change was brought out last week in the last month of our process, we have spent a lot of time, effort and money into examining all the decrees and the proposals for change, and at this last stage we are told that is not our responsibility.” 

LET’S FACE THE TRUTH FRANK. YOUR GOVERNMENT HAS CRIPPLED THE RIGHTS OF ORDINARY PEOPLE TO SEEK RECOURSE THROUGH THE COURTS, PARTICULARLY PENSIONERS. 

WHAT YOU AND YOUR BOY DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT GENUINE INVESTORS NEED TO SEE A FAIR AND JUST LEGAL SYSTEM IN PLACE IN A COUNTRY BEFORE THEY WILL INVEST. 

NO DOUBT YOU WILL STILL GET THE POLITICAL ARSE KISSING CARPET BAGGER INVESTORS WITH NO MONEY WHO RELY ON THE FNPF TO FUND THEIR SCHEMES AND THEIR OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS. 

YOUR DECREES OF CONVENIENCE ARE JUST THAT, THEY ARE NOT SUSTAINABLE LAWS AND THAT IS WHY YOU AND YOUR BOY ARE AFRAID TO HAVE THEM EXAMINED AND REVIEWED.

A DECREE THAT DEPRIVES PENSIONERS OF THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS CAN NEVER BE A SUSTAINABLE LAW.