Kevin had shingles.


Kevin had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here’s what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had…
Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.


Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’


Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ’em??’

Marijuana Controvesy

WASHINGTON — Federal officials have been mostly mute on ballot initiatives legalizing marijuana in the election on November 6. Laws passed in Colorado and Washington will take time to implement. State legislatures must determine the rules for sales, distribution and taxation. Former federal drug officials say the ballot initiatives, which contradict federal law, will be short lived.

A historic moment for supporters of marijuana legalization in the U.S. The states of Colorado and Washington have legalized the possession and sale of marijuana for adult recreational use. The laws put both states on a collision course with federal drug laws.

“The citizens of Colorado and Washington have decided to take the matter into their own hands. And they have seen that prohibition does not work,” said Morgan Fox, communications director for the Marijuana Policy Project.

Critics of current bans on marijuana argue the laws don’t stop anyone from using the drug, and come at great cost to communities through court expenses and incarceration. According to the FBI, 750,000 people are arrested for possession each year, at a cost of more than $40 billion.  

Jasmine Tyler, director of national affairs with the Drug Policy Alliance, compares the marijuana ban to laws that prohibited alcohol use in the U.S. in the 1920s.

“It is the same awe we saw with the toppling of alcohol prohibition, as well. The people knew that the prohibition itself caused more harm and was just ineffective,” said Tyler.

The day after the election, the Justice Department said it was reviewing the ballot initiatives but did not comment on how it will respond. But the statement did say the enforcement of federal drug laws remains unchanged.  

Experts say enforcing the federal laws could be politically awkward for the Obama administration. More Colorado citizens voted for the initiative than for the president. And national polls show a majority of Americans support legalizing marijuana.

“I think polling numbers are as high as they have ever been. And they have risen steadily over the last 10 years. And when you think about the polling numbers for medical marijuana and marijuana, you can’t avoid them anymore,” said Tyler.

Former drug control officials have commented that the victory will be short-lived. They predict the Obama administration will either stop the initiatives up front or challenge the laws in court.

Exercise could repair heart damage

Researchers found for the first time that regular and strenuous exercise can make dormant stem cells in the heart spring into life, leading to the development of new heart muscle.

Scientists had already discovered that stem cells could be coaxed into producing new tissue through injections of chemicals known as growth factors, but the new study is the first to suggest that a simple exercise programme has a similar effect.

The findings suggest that damage from heart disease or failure could be at least partially repaired through 30 minutes of running or cycling a day, at enough intensity to work up a sweat.

An early-stage study on healthy rats showed that an equivalent amount of exercise resulted in more than 60 per cent of heart stem cells, which are usually dormant in adults, becoming active.

After two weeks of exercise the mice had a seven per cent increase in the number of cardiomyocites, the “beating” cells in heart tissue, researchers reported in the European Heart Journal.

The team from Liverpool John Moores University said they would now study the effects on mice which had suffered heart attacks to determine whether it could have an even greater benefit.

Dr Georgina Ellison, who led the study, said: “The exercise is increasing the growth factors which are activating the stem cells to go on and repair the heart, and this is the first time that this potential has been shown.

“We hope it might be even more effective in damaged hearts because you have got more reason to replace the large amount of cells that are lost.”

Although some patients with severe heart damage may not be capable of intensive exercise, Dr Ellison said a significant number would easily be able to jog or cycle for 30 minutes a day without risking their health.

“In a normal cardiac rehabilitation programme patients do undertake exercise, but what we are saying is maybe to be more effective it needs to be carried out at a higher intensity, in order to activate the resident stem cells,” she said.

Prof Jeremy Pearson, associate medical director of the British Heart Foundation, which funded the research, said: “This study adds to the growing evidence that adult hearts may be able to make new muscle from dormant stem cells.

“However, much more research is now needed to find out whether what’s been seen in this study can be translated into treatments for human patients.”

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TOO RIDICULOUS!

Did you know that November 19 is officially designated ‘World Toilet Day’? Well yes, it is true that millions around the world suffer the lack of good clean toilet bowls and squats – but surely this concerns only those directly involved in providing the deprived with a decent dunny. The rest of us are not going to be bouncing around wishing each other ‘Happy Toilet Day’.

This so tickled my fancy that I Googled…world days…and there they all are, neatly listed along with world weeks and months. Working backwards…

Coming up on Dec 5: National Jandal Day in NZ. Jandals are also known as Thongs and Flip-Flops. This has to be a very worthy day indeed and one which Fiji’s citizens might also celebrate next month by purchasing a new pair and giving the old pair an honourable burial.

Nov 19: International Men’s Day – which is coincidentally paired with World Toilet Day. Which came first? (Sorry chaps)

Oct 13: International Suit Up Day. If you are under 35 you could always nick round to the nearest ‘op shop’ for a neato cast-off.

 Sep 19: International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Yeah? Right.

Aug 30: International Sex Bomb Day. I am NOT making this up!

Jul 6: International Kissing Day. Mmmm – could be fun.

 Jun 2: World’s Whore Day. (Pass)

May 6: International No Diet Day. Probably a plot hatched by McDonald’s, Pizza King and the good Colonel Saunders. 

Apr 27: World Tapir Day. Those are funny shaped furry things with long tails, short legs, tiny eyes and very long snouts – I think. Not very cuddly, but what the heck, with literally hundreds of other celebratory days, why shouldn’t the tapirs have one too?

 Mar 23: World Meteorology Day. This is the day when all the TV weather men who look more like bank tellers than weather men, and all the weather ladies who bend their arms at the elbow and flap them like chooks, get together annually to celebrate how iffy their forecasts were.

Feb 22: World Thinking Day. Ah-ha! So that’s what’s wrong!

Jan 10: World Laughing Day. With all this rubbish we really do need one – badly.