18 Wednesday Jan 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“‘Yes, I’m afraid so,”‘ the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
“I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked
‘NO REFILLS’.”
13 Friday Jan 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
Ladies! Do you despair of ever finding a comfortable bra that does its job properly? A bra that lifts, and has comfortable straps, and doesn’t form armrests under one’s armpits. A bra that bestows a bit of cleavage – well, when you’ve not much else to show off, a nice pair of uplifted pointy boobs would do wonders for sagging self-esteem, now, wouldn’t it.
Today’s fashions are very odd indeed, don’t you think? Starting at the top, the female head of hair looks as if hours went into the washing and styling, then it was pushed backwards through a hedge. Men seem to favour the ‘hedgehog’ look like that sports-casting fellow on CNN.
Continue reading
07 Saturday Jan 2012
Posted in Daily Humour, Grey Power Editor
02 Monday Jan 2012
Posted in Daily Humour
Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don’t mix these up like you did last year.
AMEN!
22 Thursday Dec 2011
Posted in Daily Humour
A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Guinness?”
The shop assistant asks, “Are you Irish?”
The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something,
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Russian Vodka, would you ask if I was Russian?”
The shop assistant says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”
The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Guinness, why did you ask me if I’m Irish?”
The clerk replied, Because you are in Bunnings
21 Wednesday Dec 2011
Posted in Daily Humour
29 Tuesday Nov 2011
Posted in Daily Humour
27 Sunday Nov 2011
Posted in Daily Humour, Grey Power Editor
Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, FNPFBOARDIUM (symbol=FnPf), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since FNPFBOARDIUM has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of FNPFBOARDIUM can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
FNPFBOARDIUM has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, FNPFBOARDIUM’S mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that FNPFBOARDIUM is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, FNPFBOARDIUM becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as FNPFBOARDIUM, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
18 Friday Nov 2011
Posted in Daily Humour
Some years ago a small rural town in Italy twinned with a similar town
in Greece..
The Mayor of the Greek first visited the Italian town. The Italian mayor
hosted him.
He was impressed not so much with the hospitality as with the mayor’s
mansion. That curiosity led him to ask how he managed to build such a
grand place.
The Italian said; “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a
grant to build a two-lane bridge. I thought about it then built a single
lane bridge with traffic lights at either end. The money saved helped
build this house”.
The following year the Italian returned the visit to the Greek town. He
was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor’s house. It looked like the
Parthenon. Corinthian columns, mosaic floors, marble staircases,
chandeliers, gold taps, the lot.
When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek pointed blankly
outside & said; “You see that bridge over there?”
The Italian replied; “No.”
08 Tuesday Nov 2011
Posted in Daily Humour
The computer swallowed grandpa.
Yes, honestly it’s true!
He pressed ‘control and ‘enter’
And disappeared from view.
It devoured him completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
he must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I’ve searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I’ve even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Mr. Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found ‘online.’
So, if inside your ‘Inbox,’
My Grandpa you should see,
Please ‘Copy, Scan’ and ‘Paste’ him
And send him back to me.
We don’t stop learning because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop learning..!
NEVER Be The First To Get Old!
This is a tribute to all the Grandmas and Grandpas. . .
. . . who have been fearless and learned to use the
Computer………!
They are the greatest!!!
Fiji Pensioners 