Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.

Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War , the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the Peacekeeping Missions, not to mention Vietnam .

If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologise. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.

Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.

It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politician’s, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Farts!

Pass this on to all the Old Farts you know.

I was taught to respect my elders. It’s just getting harder to find them.

Two older Jewish ladies, Sophie and Fran, were shopping one afternoon, and Sophie says to Fran, “Wish me good luck. My son finally met a girl and maybe they will get married – But the only thing my son said is that she has Herpes. What is Herpes?”

Fran says, “I don’t know, but I have a medical dictionary at home and I will go home and look it up for you.”

The next day the ladies again meet, and Fran says to her friend, “Sophie it’s okay. You don’t have to worry. It’s a disease of the gentiles!”

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other’s company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they’d shared, each was lost for a time in their own  thoughts ……………

Claude was thinking: ‘If I’d known she was still a virgin,  I’d have been gentler.’

Maude was thinking: ‘If I’d known he could still do it, I’d have taken my tights off……..

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.

To prove his theory, he filled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person’s smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately until he came to the last man in line, an elderly gentleman, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Twice a day,” the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when the man says no.

“Once a day, then?” Again the answer is no. “Twice a week?” “No.” “Twice a month?” “No.” The man finally said yes when the doctor got to “once a year.”

The therapist is angry that his theory isn’t working, and asks the elderly gentleman, “What the heck are you so happy about?”

The gent answered, “Tonight’s the night!”